Life. And We-The People.

I haven't blogged in months. Strangely, what was once an outlet for churned up emotions, thoughts, aspirations, desires and dreams..now seems an empty canvas. Nothing seems to work me up into a fireball lately. And hence all words remain locked up inside the neurons in my head. 


Maybe its the doing-too-much-at-one-time syndrome. Maybe the aftermath of the syndrome. Whatever it is, I do not like it! If I am me, then why do I become a stranger just like that? 


Don't you all feel this way at times? Wondering why the pace of life ebbs and flows with total randomness and total disregard for your wants? Even the spirit of Christmas, which has always managed to provide that boot-in-the-rear momentum to life..seems to have packed its bags and retired:-( 


So what do you think life is? A whim of several billion cells to be you for a while? Then I hereby order all of you cells to reformulate your patterns and become ME, for Chrissakes!

Reaching out-

Dear Blog,

I haven't written to you since a long, long time, and I know you must be feeling just as lonely as I am. It was easier somehow to share my soul with you when you were a Diary..this new cyber avatar is a trifle difficult to reach when I stretch my arms.
So many things I need to share with you. Sadness, excitement, hopes, dreams, desires, confusion, $@#&#, irritations, aspirations.. where are you when I need you most??? When the world goes out of focus, when the birds stop chirping, when the rainbows fade? Why do I find it easier to turn to my damp pillow at times like these? Wake up, Blog! Get your act together! You and I are a team, right? So BE there for me when I need you most. Open your eyes when you see me reaching out for you. Or I may just destroy you.

Yours-for-now,

The Creator

Happy Birthday to Me:-)

Its my birthday again! Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months..seem to be blessed by the wings of time! Life speeds by so fast that it makes me dizzy sometimes! And no..its not spondylitis! I look back over the enchanting years-and the power-point presentation of memories of my childhood and youth flash in front of my eyes.  The warmth of the sunshine of mom and papa's love, the holidays on hill-stations year after year, the many new schools in diverse towns, as papa was posted from town to town in the course of his long distinguished career as an officer (and gentleman) of the Indian Armed Forces, the unconditional love and 'I-will-always-have-faith-in-you-no-matter-what' that I learnt from my mom (you, Vinnie Dev)...and incorporated in your lives, my precious children.. all seems to be there all around me in my every Today somehow. I can hear papa's voice calling out to me to look at a rainbow in the sky, a caterpillar in the throes of emerging as a butterfly, a colourful bird, a firefly in the dark nights..I seem to look up and see him looking up at the bright sun to sneeze..that was one of the quaintest of his traits! The others were his complete love for his first precious grandchild (you, Aanchal), and calling 'nadi' -'dariya and 'ped'- 'drakht'!!
The world lost my dad on 22nd December 1987, but none of us ever did. He lives in our hearts every moment, with his sunny smile and warm arms..which kept my childhood so secure. You, Saahil, he held just a couple of times in his arms when you were born, and then again when you were a couple of months old. That is one of my few regrets and complaints to life..that you did not know him.

Mom-- what do I say to describe you??? My lovely, loving, completely crazy, incredibly vibrant mother:-) Love you with all my heart, Ma. All I am today, all I have..is all thanks to you.

The kaleidoscope of my memories surround me with their ever-changing patters..always colourful, always enchanting. You, Rajiv- my friend, confidante, partner in every sense of the word, best pal, husband- you came into my life, have transformed me into a realm all my own, where I made friends with myself and with the whole world. You showed me again what the meaning of 'unconditional love' is.. and (in facebook language) what being "in an open relationship" means:-) (This, by the way, intrigues very many people)
You enriched my world, with so many many happy times..tough times.. and we grew up together, learning to always remain best friends!

Memories, dreams, visions, hopes, desires, magic- all churned up my two devils- which means you both - Aanchal and Saahil:-) And life changed tracks once more.. this time towards the happiest years of my life. Watching you both grow from dribbling babies, to lisping toddlers- then intense (and intensely naughty) youngsters..crazy teenagers (in your case, sonny boy-- I am forced to add "And HOW!!!!" ).. then confident, intelligent, considerate, responsible, loving adults..its been a pleasurable journey:-) You, Shalu..you just crept into our lives, waltzed into our hearts (first as an ugly duckling, that magically metamorphosed into a graceful swam) and catapulted the cauldron of our rishtas into a new dimension! Thank you, baby- for being part of us.

Gourav Sharma- kehne ko, my son-in-law..in reality- as dear to me as the children of my womb. Thank you, beta.. for filling up that still vacant corner of my life- with the warmest, supportive, loving, 'sensible' son that I needed to complete the rosy picture!! (Sorry- Terrible Twins-- not found place yet for your partners)

Today-as I stand at a higher citadel and look around me-- I am so gratified to find myself surrounded by all of you, your love, so many friends, well-wishers, enemies? (Naah!) -- whom I am everlastingly grateful to, for joining my bandwagon and making my journey so much more fun! (This includes my college friends - Pushpa Bhandari Bisht, Sumedha Sahni, Husnara Khan, Mangala Konsam, Dinesh, Sukhbir, etc etc etc, my FB friends -- all of you! my family, cousins, school kids..EVERYONE- who is there in my days and nights)

Yes- I have lived these years on my own terms- every step of the way. Thank you all - Mom, Rajiv, Aanchal, Saahil, Shalu- for encouraging me to do so. Thank you too, my best friend of these 15 years- Arun Edwards-Thank you all- For always being there for me, sharing my every dream, happiness, passion and hurt, standing firmly by our friendship,  walking shoulder-to-shoulder with me, shouldering me from trouble and strife, as noone else could!

Somehow, all of these memories seem to be just as bright and shiny as they were when they were formed! And that makes me believe in Magic. The magic of Love.

Today- I wish to commemorate a few people who contributed greatly (without knowing it!) to providing the guidelines to my journey.
Thank you Ogden Nash : You told me : "You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely".
Thank you Lucille Ball : I believed you when you said : "The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age:-)"
Thank you George Bernard Shaw. You sure had a point when you commented "Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children!"
....May I live to be a hundred years...With one extra year to repent:-)

CHEERS !

The transition from pinnacles to plateaux...

The journey of Life is so strange, so intangible.One doesn't realize how, when, where one keeps stepping over new thresholds, entering new spaces, altering the hues of one's ever-changing  horizons. Speaking of my own life, I remember my carefree, happy, secure childhood....born and brought up in an army household, changing innumerable towns, schools and friends, learning to adapt to altering circumstances..helped along by the immense love and faith in mom and papa's heart...and Wham! Stage 2, the rollercoaster teenage years..school, boys, books, boys, studies, boys, dreams, boys, romance..and yet again-boys:-) Years flowed like sand under my feet..as I raced happily into much-awaited adulthood. Then medical college, hard work, hostels far away from the security of home..and Rajiv. I met him while in final year college, and the next thing I knew..the whirlwind romance catapulted me into the picturesque valleys of Kashmir with my husband and best friend, with a wedding ring on my finger and stars in my eyes.

Life was a series of pinnacles and valleys..now up, now down..and I para-sailed my way through the happy years..helped along by the pitter-patter of tiny footsteps..first of my adorable daughter (That means YOU, Aanchal) and some years later, by my cartoon ant- son (one guess who?..right! You- Brat:-))  The glorious years flew..and Shalu- a lanky, gawky little girl, entered our home and soon snuggled herself comfortably inside our hearts..

The dizzy 20's, the adventurous 30's, the maturing 40's, and now the still-young-at-heart 50's..... Nothing has changed really. I moved on and ahead..forging new bonds..making precious friends..teaching and learning new lessons in life along the way. The unconditional love of my children (which they learnt from their dad..as did I) made the few gorges seem like tiny pitfalls..and my world was filled with laughter. excitement and the fragrance of love. I lost my father, as the cruel hands of destiny snatched him from us so suddenly years ago..but the  love and support of the strongest and most vibrant lady I know- my mother..kept me atop my pinnacles. Ably assisted by the husband and children.

Then came schools and parent-teacher meetings, hopes and ambitions, competitions and careers..until the children flew the coop, turn by turn, flying with the wings we gave them, to their own horizons. The house fell silent, and it took me quite a lot of time, strength, will-power and soul-wrenching to adjust to the yet-again altered circumstances. My towers of strength (mother, husband, children and a very special friend) held my hands and pulled me up when I fell..and helped me regain my balance and face up to the truth. And Life flowed on...

The 50's... what changes suddenly? Why does all the "adjusting" suddenly become so uphill a task? Everything is the same. All support systems in place. All the love, companionship, friendship matching steps with me in the forward march. The way I figure it out is - maybe the chasms of expectations become deeper..the crevasses of dreams/desires versus reality become insurmountable...the abysses of wanting the constant highs in life enfold one inside their depths, to find no more pinnacles to scale.....
Whatever the reason..I seem to find assorted craters, ravines and gorges to fall into every day. And its becoming difficult to negotiate them. I know the strength and determination to climb out of them has to come from within me. And to find new pinnacles to climb. But until that happens, until I keep falling...there is just one advice I can give to myself..one that both Aanchal and Saahil-- you will completely identify with.....

"Fall with your mouth closed".

:-)

Three Drinks Ahead: The one conversation that made me who I am... :)

Three Drinks Ahead: The one conversation that made me who I am... :): "I woke up this morning, picked up my phone to find a message from Mom saying that my Brat brother had written something that she and Papa, ..."

Breaking point

The human machine is a creation par excellence. . and the brain its powerhouse. Somewhere between the body and brain of the machine, lies an undefinable entity - the mind. Innumerable ramifications, unreachable depths, uncontrollable reaches of imagination, an unplumbable vortex of emotions...

This then, becomes the "weak-spot" of the machine.

A lifetime on earth- living at the edges of a grand roller-coaster- now up, now down..and seconds, minutes, hours melt into days, weeks, months, years, decades..and the ride goes on and on. A scattering of moments are all that remain as memories..the rest fade into the dark, dusty cloak of Time.

What then is "breaking point"? Who defines it? Age? Time? God Almighty? Destiny? People?
The vulnerable mind sometimes gets pushed to the very edge of the roller-coaster, and hangs precariously at the precipice of sanity. Dark shadows- some real, some imagined- spread their darkness into the soul, and many tentacles of pain claw their way into one's insides...and one can just observe the picture - detached and alone- helpless in one's citadel..

Plunging happily into the stream of life, entering willingly with eyes open into the deepest relationships, using our strengths to their fullest.. we wade through the waters.. until the world, as one has imagined and clawed the way for, seems to fall apart..with people walking paths of their choices, to their self-made horizons.. It is then, that we find God, in the very extremity of the battle of life.

Looking around, at so many of the people I have known over the years- I am deeply saddened to see this phenomenon spreading into hearts and minds- turning homes into concrete houses, brightness into shadows.

Values, commitments, vows, promises, duties and caring- all seem to dissolve in a storm of self-fulfillment, needs, choices, complacency and the "I" factor. It is "I" that is most important..."I" that overshadows all the "we's" and "us's" of a lifetime.

It is at times like this, that one needs somebody of one's own- to share the agonizing doubts wafting across the short-circuited synapses of the mind, to give unconditional love, to extend that helping hand so vital for surviving through phases of insanity.
The person who would fall in the slot of "Tu hai to I'll be alright"!

What is YOUR "breaking point" then?

Once upon a time, there lived a cat called Gabriel...

Once upon a time, there was a kitten. A tiny, scrawny, ginger-coloured little ball of fluff. Shivering and whimpering in the corner of a park, petrified at the big, noisy world around it. Its huge golden eyes desperately seeking for the comforting sight and feel of its mother.

Some small, nice children came a-playing in the park. They lived in a posh colony of Noida, and had seen a "didi" every evening, who lived in a rented barsati there, and had a pet cat she loved. They came upon the trembling kitten and were sad to see it all alone , hungry and sad. They chattered excitedly amongst themselves, contemplating on what to do with the tiny creature.

The doorbell rang. Aanchal "didi" opened the door, to see two shy little children holding up a tiny basket. She was surprised, since she had never spoken to the children before. She looked inside, and to her delight, saw a pair of liquid, tawny eyes set in the cutest, softest, most innocently adorable face of the tiny kitten. The children handed her the gift and ran away, secure in the knowledge that they had brought the lost, helpless baby HOME. Where the "didi" lived with another little cat, Xena.

Aanchal held the kitten in her lap, looked into its trusting eyes, and was lost! She taught it to drink milk, as it was so small that it did not know how to lap up milk from a saucer. She gave it warmth, safety, comfort, food, love..and..a name. Gabrielle.

Days, weeks, months went by, and Gabrielle grew into a strong, beautiful, friendly cat..with an attitude of disdain towards the whole world, and love flowing out from her every move, her fluid eyes..for her "mother". On her first routine visit to the vet, it was discovered that Gabrielle was not what "she" seemed. She was, in fact, a "he"- and the vet laughingly christened him "Gabriel" :-)

Gabriel lived with his adopted mom, and moved in to her new home when she married her long-time friend, and love- of -her -life, Gourav. Both of them made a home for both Xena and Gabriel, and the years went by - the love in their quaint household ever-growing, ever- alive. Gabriel responded to his name and had the most delightful antics. He learnt how to jump on a door-knob and turn it, on the door latch and unlatch it.. to be with his beloved Aanchal. Looking at him, it sometimes seemed that he actually could think, plan, and execute situations to his own benefit. The love he had for his "mom", was obvious to even the non-animal lover's eye. And was incredible beyond belief! There was a new addition to the menagerie that was "home" to the abandoned, lost helpless creatures- a tiny puppy that they found on the road one day- Brandy. The three romped around their home, and spread sunshine along their way, as they grew.

17th June 2011. Gabriel, as usual, following his mistress around the room with his tawny eyes, watched as she got dressed to go out. He jumped down near her, purring and rubbing his soft head on her legs. Then he went out on the balcony of the flat on the 5th storey, as he did every morning, to sun himself a bit and sleep on a cushion on the chair. Aanchal called out to say Bye to him, as she had done the four years he had been with her. Not hearing the sleepy meaow in response, she looked for him everywhere, but could not find him. Then she noticed that Brandy was jumping up and down at the fencing of the balcony and barking loudly, running up to her and back to the railing. Fearing the worst, Aanchal and Gourav ran down to the car park, hoping against hope that their fears were unfounded.. and suddenly their driver called out that Gabriel was hiding under one of the cars. They picked him up tenderly, and rushed him to the vet. Gabriel had fallen off the railing and down 5 floors. He had broken part of his lower back, and seemed to be in shock. The vet gave him some injections and told them that 24 hours were crucial. They nursed him gently, warming his cold, pale body with their arms through the night. He would cry with pain, then curl up in Aanchal's lap, looking at her with eyes glazed with pain. Today morning, the vet again examined him, and said he may pull through, then again, he may not.

All through the day, both "parents" sat with their "baby".. willing him to fight..to get well, heal, recover. Then, on the way to the vet in the evening, he died.

 ------"and then he took his last breath in my arms... and I told G that he isn't breathing...tried to close his eyes...and G looked at him and his face crumpled up too...we were trying to rush to the doc's place to see if there's any chance of getting him back...Got stuck in a traffic jam outside the vet's place...rushed in ....And he checked for a heartbeat 6 times, and then...that's it.
Ma, everything in the house reminds me of him. He used to climb up everywhere...Get inside everything...Feels so empty...and weird... and sad. Put him in the cardboard box he used to sleep in... to bury him next to Xena."

All of you who have had pets and loved them, will understand the pain. All who haven't.. may think its too much hype. All I want to say is - the immense love a pet gives you, the intense trust, the complete belonging..is something we humans can never find among our own kinds.

"It is better to have loved and lost..than never to have loved at all".
RIP, Gabriel. This is for you.

Kitni ajeeb hai zindagi

Kitni ajeeb hai zindagi-
Kahan se kahan le aati hai.
Hum dor pakadte hain kas ke..
Phir bhi haathon se phisal jaati hai.

Woh khwabon main doobe din
Woh jaagti raaten..
Woh umeedein, woh manzilein..
Ghuma-phira ke mil to jaati hain.

Sab kuch hota hai aas-paas,
Saare raaste manzilon se jude-jude
Phir kyon meri nazar se dekhi zindagi
Dhundli- dhundli nazar aati hai?

Hum-raaz, hum-khayal, hum-safar raahon ke
Kab hum-zubaan, hum-kadam, hum-safar se nahin lagte..
Khaali jharokon se dekhte hain hum ..
To bas apni parchayiyon ka sayaa nazar aata hai.

Itni ajeeb kyon hai zindagi?
Kyon apne aur apnon ke raastey juda ho jaate hain?
Kahan se laayen ab woh dil ka sakoon..
Jiski chaah main saari zindagi nikal jaati hai.

Three Drinks Ahead: The one conversation that made me who I am... :)

Three Drinks Ahead: The one conversation that made me who I am... :): "I woke up this morning, picked up my phone to find a message from Mom saying that my Brat brother had written something that she and Papa, ..."

A note from my son..for his sister---

he one rupee that made me what i am.. and gave me what i have..

by Saahil Tyagi on Wednesday, 08 June 2011 at 05:44

Its amazing how every small incident, every small thought, every small memory becomes a small part of your personality.. of who you are.. of what you do.. One of which i remembered today.

I must have been 10... i went to a boys convent St. Mary's in Meerut. My Sister Aanchal went to a girl's Convent Sophia, not very far from my school. Both of us were very different as children. She is 4 and a half years elder to me and she had probably read more books then, than i have till date. I always looked up to her. Always somehow thought she could solve any problem. We fought a lot.. but i still felt this security when she was around and we were at some friends birthday party.

So in school...

I used to wait all day for 'chutti' because of the 'thela wala's outside' who i still think sold the most amazing things. 'laal wala churan, imli ki chatni, local made ice candy, a local made chewing gum (that the guy would turn into any shape you wanted like a peacock and perch it on a stick), a plastic pipe (with frozen orange and cola liquid inside that you were supposed to melt with your tongue and drink), masale wali mooli with imli ki chatni on top, chuski, chatmola, boiled bhutta, orange soda (that i loved) and i can go on forever. I used to go home in an auto rikshaw, the auto wale bhaiya's name was 'Mujjan' so sometimes after 'chutti' when i had money, i had 10 min to buy something before 'mujjan bhaiya' would go crazy. So this one day i so correctly remember, i had one rupee to spend after 'chutti' which could actually buy me any one of most of the things i listed. i remember it was really hot and i wanted to buy the plastic pipe (with frozen orange liquid) also the orange soda and the oraaaange bars (as the guy advertised for it). but i felt i should buy the imli ki chatni (which came in a transparent plastic packing) not because i wanted to eat it that much.. but because i wanted to put it in a katori when i reached home and lay next to Aanchal with it when she read her book, because she loved having something of that sort while reading. And even though then i didn't think about it this way then, but i wanted to spend time with her 'with a common interest' which was going to be the imli ki chatni that day. And it automatically made both of us SO Happy..

And like they say.. a flutter of a butterflies somewhere may cause a tornado elsewhere... I believe that the flutter of butterflies everywhere causes fairweather at another everywhere, at another time. That day 'maybe' unknowingly i learnt to invest all my love into someone i would want close to me for life. Someone i look up to.. someone my heart feels secure with.. someone i love not more than everyone else.. but as much as a few others. :) :)

P.S.: Aanchal.. I Love you SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Much..

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

I awoke to a fresh new morn, reached for my netbook..to catch up on the world and its machinations through the night, as I slept. Suddenly chanced upon this note- posted on facebook by my son. In itself, you would think- pretty sweet, nice sentiments... but its a whole lot more than that for us. Saahil- the youngest in the family, is an out and out dyslexic. In the age he grew up, unfortunately, neither his teachers, nor society and not even us, his parents- were all that aware of the complexities of the condition! He grew up with his personal hell- unable to phrase his torment, at not being able to "keep up" with his fellow-students. The demands of education, the expectations of his teachers, peers and most importantly, US- his parents-- took its toll on his tender mind right from age 6 onwards. Inability to comprehend printed words (which, as he explained years later- seemed to dance before his eyes and made him dizzy to catch and hold in place long enough to read), altered appreciation of colours, and a different perception of all things as compared to the "normal"-- must have made his childhood pretty confusing and frustrating.....inspite of all the love that abounded in plenty in our home.

His brilliant mind made him a scintillating talker, he would discuss concepts far ahead of his age..make up new words all the time.. It was "frigilator" for the stabilizer atop the fridge, "Goi" for that tar-filled wagon that carried molten tar used for laying roads.... his dad left the Air Force early while at the rank of Flight Lieutenant .. and he would explain that his father used to fly fighter planes and "left it" hence he was Flight Leftenent":-) The only awards he ever won at school were for story-telling!

I still remember the day, his dad and I went to watch the film "Taarey Zameen Par". That I think was a landmark for both of us. We held hands in the movie hall..and cried. Every bit of the torment so beautifully and sensitively picturized in the film..that the little dyslexic boy went through, danced before our eyes..and we could actually re-live Saahil's days in school and home. We could reach out and feel his torment. I think that day, something inside of me broke, and Saahil suddenly escalated in stature within my heart and soul as the most precious part of my life.

Aanchal and he had always been close. Things they shared, talked about, did- were completely theirs. We were not part of their little world. Aanchal was probably his only cushion against the cruel world:-) All the slaps and verbal battering that his childhood took, all the expectatins and hopes of the parents he loved so much.. made him attain strange little mannerisms- nervous tics of all kinds, which further magnified our worries.

Reading? Naah! That was not for our lame fledgling. Aanchal was the avid reader. The only book we ever managed to make him read was Huckleberry Finn! Which he boasted about for years to come:-) Writing? Sigh! I have preserved some of his classic works of literary ventures in an album. They are unbelievably retarded:-))) His studying before exams would involve my reading out lesson by lesson, question by question, answer by answer..through the days and nights.. the reading interrupted by many bonks on the tiny head as it nodded off to sleep:-)

All our worries of what he would do, how would he pass the boards, what career would he fit into....led our steps to a brilliant career counselor in Delhi- Ms. Pervin Malhotra. She told us not to attempt any formal education for him. His gift lay in articulation, social networking..in short-'the gift of the gab". Hence the hospitality industry would be his forte.


Today- when we see him as a successful, dynamic, happy young executive at a premier 5 Star Hotel in Mumbai, we are so happy and proud! 


So you see- why this note of his means so much to all of us?? Our little lame fledgling had gotten his wings. And can fly on his own. He can read now. And write. And express his feelings so touchingly:-) 


This one's for you, my son. I love you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!


With apologies for any rude remarks in this note:-))) 


Mom

Take Care Take Charge

Ref: The TCTC Campaign in TOI dated 5th June 2011.

As a concerned and worried citizen of this planet, this issue has been one of my pet projects over the years. I am a medical practitioner and also run my own Primary school of children between the ages of 3 - 12 years. In my  own small way, I have thought about the ways I could help, by inculcating an awareness and concern about the many hazards that threaten to desecrate the environment, in the minds of the youngsters under my care and their parents and elders, to attempt bringing about some change in attitudes and awareness about our collective and individual duties. Children constitute the world's most vital natural resource.

It is very easy to sit back and discuss the issue (as all other issues), condemn and criticize the situations, pile blame on some unseen higher forces- our parents, teachers, neighbours, administration, ministers .. even the almighty! One thing that I have realized is, that we Indians are adept at doing all-of-the-above, but singularly lacking in taking initiative and lifting a finger to actually strive to solve the issues. Unless we "get something out of it". Or there is fear of punishment- be it fines and penalties, or curtailment of any of our rights.

I am really happy to see the campaign "Take Care, Take Charge" that you have launched. I would love to join them in their endeavor.

There are two headings under which I would offered my suggestions:

[A] Waste & Pollution Management 

[B]Creating Green Spaces

For both, I proposed that a new group is launched countrywide, called PPP (Project People Participation)

People working in this group in every city of India, should be either volunteers (offered some incentives), freshly enrolled employees on a payroll, or media people detailed on a permanent basis to work for the campaign.

Some suggestions are:

[A] Waste & Pollution Management :Towns are divided into Residential and Commercial areas.

 Residents of residential complexes / shopkeepers take charge of the roads/street/park/crossroad in their vicinity and become responsible for everything that needs to be done to keep the area clean and beautified. Planting a tree where possible, installing covered dustbins, arranging to have them cleaned daily, training the guards of showrooms to prevent people spitting/urinating/defiling the area in any way- would be their task. For this, incentives could be offered, in compliance with the local civic authorities and the Municipalities (as is done in the cantonments). Some incentives may be lower electricity rates for the area/ lower taxes (shop tax, water tax, etc). The area would be reviewed by the PPP officials every 5th of June (Environment Day) and the incentives continued or revoked according to their survey. In a few years, the awareness will spread in all people, and the project may run automatically. 

Also, any high-handed ugly money-making projects started by the civic authorities or their contractors, if unacceptable to the residents/shopkeepers, should be questioned/stopped by their contingents meeting the DM of the town.This will ensure the human resources of every town actually bringing about the change they wish to see.

Another incentive, easily providable by the local print media, would be a Page 3 of sorts, where coverage with photographs and interviews, is given on a daily / weekly basis, area by area. 

[B] Creating Green Spaces: Areas could be pre-determined by the local civic authorities, centrally and in pockets of habitation. Colony compost pits could be dug with the involvement of the residents, and free manure made available from time to time. . thus encouraging people to throw all biodegradable waste into it. Page 3 of local newspapers could carry slogans and advertisements of the marked spaces, for the people to plant trees in the names of each person born or died in their families (an aluminium name tab provided to attach to the tree), as also after every wedding. Possibly, representatives of the Department of Registration of Births, Deaths and Marriages could have an office there, and make this task easy for the public, which, in itself, would ensure more people's participation. Their pictures could be covered in the Page 3 of the papers, as further incentive.

Schools could be involved, with teachers and children holding drives for tree-planting and banning the use of polythene. Incentive for the schools could again involve lower electricity rates/ media exposure/ free advertisements in the said papers/etc.

What do you think? Please do send in your suggestions too. Every little step may just help save the planet.

Heads or Tales ?

The games people play. The stories we weave around our mundane humdrum existences. Tales of valour, of romance, of adventure- spinning around the meshes of trapped souls, on a planet rock-solid and oh-so boring! I sometimes wonder, plodding through the familiar paths of another day, if this happens to everyone, or is it just me? The snatches of a once-favourite song, the glimpse of a vision from somewhere in the past, the fragrance of some haunting melody of life, real or imagined..all seem to reach and climb into my soul, like the tentacles of some particularly perseverent creature from outer space..and I am inexorably drawn into another world ! One, that is suddenly magical, exciting, has knights in shining armour, lush green meadows, majestic mountains, shimmering restless seas..the French Riviera, the gaming tables of Las Vegas, the supercilious Sphinxes looking down at the changing world, the busy, dusty lanes of Arabia, the sounds of music amongst the  undulating green hills of Austria, the freezing winds of Alaska...  No visa, no passport, no long-winded travel plans..no packed suitcases..just those moments of escape into another dimension! Where mystery and adventure overtake caution and habit, where James Bond smiles into my eyes (so what, if it turns out to be the local vegetable vendor?), where I join hands with Mata Hari, with Alexander, with Castle, with the MI5, with Julius Caesar..to save the world!!

A few moments into fantasy..my escape route from the set patterns of my existence. Far more refreshing than a glass of chilled nimbu paani, or a can of beer, an evening with friends or a new gadget. Its definitely "Tales" for me! Not "Heads".

What about you?

Synaptic short-circuiting*#$@%**

Some days are just *#@%**
Its not even about getting up from "the wrong side of the bed"! Like clockwork, I have swung my legs down on the same side of the bed every morning in all these years, albeit with eyes closed and puffy with lack of sleep (the story of my life), groping my way to the washroom basin to strive cold water splashes as a means of awakening.

Its not about any issue clogging my nerves, or any other irritant that I can immediately bring to mind. Just SNAP! The charged particles of matter within my head, and matter without..surrounding my sleepy head... just seem to go to war with each other and produce jabbed sparks of lightening through my head!!

Interaction with other specimens of humanity is disastrous! There is every likelihood of their heads getting bitten off, and its not aesthetic to see numerous headless creatures float around the highly-charged atmosphere!!!

Taking a painkiller, solitude, and darkness..seem to be my only Nirwana. Sigh! What a waste of a beautiful day! 

A Mother's Love--and its fallout:-)

A Mother's Love--and Teachings

by Seema Tyagi on Saturday, 14 May 2011 at 09:21

THINGS I TAUGHT MY CHILDREN:

* TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE-"If you're going to kill each other do it outside-I just finished cleaning."

* RELIGION-"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

* TIME TRAVEL-"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to kick you into the middle of next week."

* LOGIC-"Because I said so, that's why."

* FORESIGHT-"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you have to dive into a river to save a drowning child”.

* IRONY-"Keep laughing or I'll *give* you something to cry about."

* OSMOSIS-"Shut your mouth and eat your food."

*@ BRAT Only: CONTORTIONISM-"Will you look at the dirt on the back on your neck!"

* STAMINA-"You'll sit there till all that fruit / vegetable is finished."

* WEATHER-"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

* How to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS-"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming towards you; would you then listen??"

* HYPOCRISY-"If I've told you once I've told you a million times-Don't Exaggerate!!!"

* THE CIRCLE OF LIFE-" I brought you into this world, and I can take you out. So LOOK OUT!!!"

* BEHAVIOUR -"Stop acting like your father."

* ENVY-"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

* ULTIMATUMS – “ Do NOT fall with your mouths open and chip your teeth EVER AGAIN!!! Or I will knock them out myself.”

Do I hear a chorus of THANK YOUS??? Aanchal, Saahil, Shalu????

The Brats

Bound, gagged and shackled..

I sometimes despair of the human race vis a vis Indians... Complacency sure has its place among necessary virtues, but to what extent can we stretch it? Much is mouthed and written about illiteracy being a bane to the progress of our society. But what of the "educated " uninformed???

I wish people would realize that , in our present set-up at least, we have to know, understand and claw for our rights. Not put our trust in Gods, demi-Gods, God-men and women, lawyers, engineers and least of all- Doctors! This is where my rage boils over and spills out! Being of the fraternity, I am disgusted and pained to see the megalomaniacally callous and high-handed attitudes of the super-specialist members of the medical community . A friend got admitted into hospital a couple of days back. 5 days of vague symptoms, and Wham! He gets to know he has but 15% of his kidneys in working order and will now on need dialysis thrice a week for the rest of his life! Imagine what would go through your mind is this happened to you? Does any doc even ask this vital question of himself?? No- he very definitely doesn't. Why should he? He is, after all, the chosen one of the Almighty. God on earth. So what does he do? He knocks down all the frightened patient's questions with a harsh "Pehle sochna tha.. ab bahut late ho gaya in sab sawaalon ke liye."
Without having the test reports in his hands, he can judge, condemn, hang and quarter a frightened person, who until yesterday was a "normal" man-about-town??

This friend, incidentally a retired army officer, cannot now have anything sweet nor salty to eat. The dietitian gave lots of unwanted advice, prepared diet charts @Rs.1000/- per advice session. Then, the hospital served regular oily, salty meals ..same for patients of all kinds as well as for their relatives. When his wife brought home-made saltless food , they were scolded and insulted and ordered that "according to the rules", he will have to eat the canteen food.Why lose out on revenue??Who makes these rules?Total disregard for the patients condition seems to be the new mantra for doctors. And the disturbed, frightened, confused family can hardly bring themselves to ask logical questions, and demand logical answers.

Another person, a cousin .. an up-and-coming hotelier with his own set-up, married with kids in school..just went for a routine check-up a couple of weeks back to a premium hi-fi super-speciality hospital in Gurgaon. Was diagnosed with second-stage cancer of the stomach. Got operated, and while undergoing a course of toxic chemotherapy, went into convulsions. So what did the super-specialist at the super- speciality hospital do? Instructed the petrified relatives to deposit 3 lacs in the middle of the night, and sent him off for ANGIOGRAPHY????? Why?? Wasn't the diagnosis clear? If at all they suspected a heart attack, easier, safer, quicker tests would have sufficed. But then maybe they would not have earned as much revenue.

Why do the educated, upright, intelligent citizens of this land lose all their powers of reasoning and become innocent dewy-eyed lambs for slaughter?? When will people learn? Stand up for their rights? Who will teach them to trust in themselves, and not blindly in others?

Bound, gagged and shackled - We-The people of India. Awaiting a reincarnated God to come and show us the way.







How many battles does one need to fight? To survive..live and die with dignity?

One hundred years from now...

One hundred years from now....

This all began with the most incredible woman in my life- You, Vinnie Dev..who I have the incredible good fortune, to call my Mom:-) After the happiest, warmest, most warm and secure childhood, where you taught me the richness of unconditional love and support, the importance of holding a family together with bonds of Trust and Faith interlaced with all the love one has in one's heart to give... I can truthfully accept that I too hold the very same place in my children's hearts that you hold in mine. I love you, mom:-)

One hundred years from now- it won't matter what car I sat in, how many designer clothes I wore..
It won't matter how big a house I lived in, or how much I had in my bank account.
Nor how many friends I thought I had, how many suitors, or those that liked me..
It won't matter how many times I was told how good I looked, or how sweetly I spoke..
All that will matter, will be a world that looks beautiful and always right-side-up..
Because I was important in the lives of my children:-)

This is for you two- Aanchal and Saahil- whom I carried in my womb for nine ecstatic months, and will carry in my heart for ever and a day!
This is also for you, Shalu- whom I did not share the bond that began with an umbilical cord, but yet built the citadel of love, trust and friendship, which is all the more precious to me, because we built it ourselves, Rajiv, Aanchal, Saahil, you and I together.

This Mother's Day-I want to thank all three of you for being there in my life, and for letting me be part of yours. Someone said-it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you have a baby. That someone sure didn't know that once you have become a "mother", being "normal" is history. They said being a mother is boring at times. They probably didn't have a madcap son escaping from back doors of loos in the wee hours of the night, or calls from Principals in the middle of busy days of the same child vanishing from school and being found in vast empty fields, adorned with empty beer bottles:-) A big Thank you to you, my Brat:-)

They said-you can never love any child as much as your own flesh and blood. They probably didn't have a delightful, caring, lovely daughter like you, Shalu:-)

They said your first born is always the centre of your existence, your heart and soul, always part of every breath you take, every beat of your heart. This time, they were right! They probably had met you, Aanchal:-)

Then they said, a mother stops worrying after her daughter gets married. They definitely didn't know that marriage just adds a new son to the mother's heart-strings:-) Try and free yourself if you can, Gourav:-)

They would never have dreamt that there exists yet another dimension to maternity. That the father of these children would enrich the experience of being an eternal mother. Of someone that just doesn't grow up!! Thank you, Rajiv- for always being a constant source of reminders of all the pranks, all the fun, all the irresponsibilities, that are such a precious part of my children's childhood, before they grew up.

I know all three of you have grown up today:-) Yes- you too, Brat:-) The gap between asking where you came from, to refuse to tell us where you are going-- makes us realize that. And makes us happy and proud. There are but two lasting legacies we can give our children. One is roots. The other-wings. . and I think I can say with truth that we have equipped you adequately with both.

So, a hundred years from now- when I smile from within the clusters of stars in the sky, from the fragrance of mogra in your balconies in the summer breeze, from the 'Oooh Ma's" in your voices as you grow and evolve, "They", who thought they knew it all, will hang their heads in dismay, for the lessons Life taught them, were just lessons after all. Not Life.

So if "they" ever whisper in your ears, my children- that your mother KNOWS you love her, and you don't need to tell her... Always remember... "They" have never been a Mother:-)

Happy Mother's Day!

Kabhi kisi roz..

Kabhi Kisi roz:
Kabhi kisi roz, mud ke jo hamhe dekha,
Chamkeeli raahon ke, dhund ke pahlu main.
Dikhaai diye kuch bikhrarey hue lamhe..
Jo kabhi zindagi hua karte the,
Waqt ke jhonkon se dabbe se pade hue..
Dil ke kisi kone main phanse-phanse..
Aaj un sab ko batorne ki khwaish ne,
un bikharey lamhon ko sameta hai ek-ek kar ke.


Seema Tyagi

Man's best friend

Ever wondered why dogs have been labelled man's best friends? Probably because they have this innate ability to hang on to the pup within them... forever prancing and excited, believing in and searching for goodness and happiness in the world around them? Retaining trust in their masters inspite of many-a kick or walloping at times.. Grabbing every morsel of Life... every moment of their lives.

The very qualities that we, their icons, seem to have lost somewhere along the way in the march towards civilization..I never cease to be amazed at how every iota of love we give, magnifies itself in their hearts to proportions that fill up the skies of our homes...

This is for you, Zorro- my one-year old Bhutia... the most adorable and intelligent best friend that we have:))) And for you, Candy-the delightful Pom-Apso... our darling and part of our world for the 22 years of her life that she shared with us.

All those who shake their heads and say they cannot stand pets.. think again! Dogs are the children we have, that wont even grow up into adulthood. They will always remain the prancing, excited, happily wagging tails..that may wreck havoc at times .. but never fail to dispel loneliness or empty spaces in your heart and home:))

Right-side-up

Life is a roller-coaster, a veritable cauldron of emotions, experiences, excitements and the humdrum mundaneness..that somehow balance each other out. Looking at fading pictures (that kindly helpful technically inclines well-wishers brighten up for me!) and grown up children, greying friends and  sometimes creaking joints, my mind goes into flashback mode and I can almost hear the sounds of Life..as it used to be.... before it became used-to-be..
Two of us in this 28-roomed mansion, trying not to get lost..in the confines of our now tiny boundaries... giving space, taking space... and getting "spaced out" of our minds. Its strange how two people who have grown together, share beliefs and values, respect and love, children and pets, ups and downs.. suddenly reach out to clutch separate straws to survive. Each lost in spaces vaster than these 28 rooms...
there is so much work, so many friends, so much society drumming its presence into every neuron, every sinew, every synapse of our lives.. yet at times the desolate empty spaces reach inwards into my soul. The loneliness surfaces from the bubbling cauldrons of days and nights..and spreads its tentacles into reason and sanity.
The world looks strange upside down..
Valiantly attempting to snap the icy bonds of negativity and sadness, I find myself reach for the cyber world..switching on a netbook here, a PC there, mobiles inbetween.. searching searching..for some denizen of the so-called artificial world.. to share a thought, a dream, a word. And lo and behold! Two cheerful, happy, warm, loving green dots light up.. and engulf my dimming world with brilliant sunshine ... A "Hi", a "moment "shared, a loving "Good Night", and a signing off "I Love you mom".. and I am Right-side-up again :-))))
Thank you Aanchal. Thank you Brat:-)
You don't know how much these tiny gestures mean to my ricketty, topsy-turvy world :-)

Happy Basant Panchmi..

Nothing has any meaning without the children around - Holi, Diwali, Basant... Was a time this day would dawn (at 4 am???) with a cold face pressed to mine, with washed dripping hair.. and an excited voice saying "Good Morning, Mom... Dont get up.. my friends and I are going up to the rooftop to begin flying kites"!!

Next, the Red Indian calls of "Kaatteeyyyy" would fill the air, as boys from all the neighboring rooftops would engage in an enthusiastic competition on who cut how many kites :-) Blaring music would rent the air from assorted DJ sound systems already fitted up there their previous evening- each playing different popular punjabi rap / film songs!

The day would carry on with countless kites dotting the sky with the colours of the rainbow, and snacks, lunch, soft drinks served on the terrace..as the rest of us - Aanchal, Shalu, Rajiv and I joined Brat atop the roof and took turns at flying kites.
Awoke this morning- hearing the very same calls and music, but on other rooftops...
Miss you, Saahil. The rooftops of my life are empty and bare without you home...
Love you:-)

Been a long long time..

Yes its been a long long time -- almost forgotten I had a blog! Life races by, now picking up speed, now at a standstill.... and yet constantly flowing...
I wonder why or where one's choices change, paths meander towards erstwhile un-thought of, unimagined paths..
There was a time, not that many years ago, that was entirely made up of the pitter-patter of tiny, then not-so-tiny feet ... the glorious rituals of waking the children, dunking them into a shower, while happily concocting varied delicacies for their tiffins.. packing their bags.. and sending them off to school with the faithful auto-man!

Then one by one, the babies grew into responsible young adults ( well.. Aanchal did!!) and it was time for her to leave home and venture out onto her chosen paths...
There was a void, but that got filled with the antics and escapades of our Brat ! Music, chaos, noise, action, movement, laughter filled every corner of my home.. a symphony composed of the assorted flora and fauna of Brat's pals that filled every nook and cranny of this abode..
Years dwindled into months, months into weeks, weeks into tiny moments of countless memories... some warm and happy, some scary... and the Terrible twins.. Brat and Shalu, the younger monster daughter :)...very sincerely undertook their duties of never letting my quicksilver mind gravitate into complacency of any kind!

And then came their turn.. to fly the coop! Happy to see both my lame fledglings find their forte and cheerfully  fly towards the horizon of their dreams.. Yet unable to completely rid my heart of the gossamer strings of maternal dependence.. I lost myself into new walks of life, ably supported by my best friend and partner of these three decades - my husband, Rajiv. Helped along with the unconditional support of the three offshoots of my existence..

I look back at the years gone by, and know that they will never come back. But the most precious parts of those years are still with me.. framed in old photographs, tiny much-washed clothes, school uniforms, old cassettes, tiny scraps of scribbly writings on pages torn out from copy books...and in the eyes of the children, where their pride and love for their dad and me shines like a million stars...

I thank the Almighty, for the place I hold in the hearts of my family.. for the friendship we all share.. for the privilege of living my life all over again through the windows of my children's lives.. which they willingly let me be part of ! And for giving us a son in law who has slipped into the recesses of our hearts so easily and so quickly, that it feels he has always been here! For my mom, and the depths of her love for all of us. And for so many of her strengths that I have in me today.

Yes my house is quiet today. The rooms whose walls are adorned with memories are still. But yet there is happiness and rhythm in that stillness.. the silence that is shattered by the Ting! of the mail from one of them, the tinkle of the mobile heralding a call from one or the other.. sharing an anecdote, a thought, a dream..

I love you - Mom, Rajiv, Aanchal, Gourav, Saahil, Shalu...and this ones for you all!



Thank you ,