Dear God,

As I grew from strength to strength,

Among the swaying daffodils;

My shining eyes, my smiling lips,

Sent up a prayer of thankfulness.

I may not have prayed often,

I may not have prayed enough;

But whenever I prayed, I’d ask of you-

For just one thing, again and again.

“God give me a heart like my mother has,

So I too can love unconditionally;

Grant me the courage that is her forte,

Her  strength and wisdom too hopefully.

God, Give me the radiance of her smile,

Her touch that makes problems disappear magically.

The spring in her step, the youthfulness,

Her generous soul and loving words,

That soothes the lives she touches miraculously.

And Someday,

If I manage to become-

 Half the mom she has been to me-

I’ll know You were there that day,

And  heard my words, and listened to what I asked of You so hopefully!

Happy Mother's Day, Ma:-) In anticipation of 13th May 2012. And for every day of my life. 

Love you.

Vacuum blimps-

Vacuum blimps-

The real world. Such a deeply philosophical phrase. The real world obliterated itself a decade ago. I remember the real world. There was sense and sensibility back then. There were wild flowers, and hornets clinging to clothes as we walked through the brambles in the wilderness. There were children and there was their childhood. There were Family Picnics, splashing through rain puddles, Pakodas and steaming cups of hot tea in corner shops. There were small, cozy bookstores with kindly owners- who let us sit atop a tall 3-legged stool and let the magic of the words from the pages enter our souls. There were parents and best friends- sharing and caring, duties and obligations, happily fulfilled. There were letters and postcards, and hopefuls swinging-on-gates awaiting the friendly, busy postmen delivering them. There were chirping sparrows, woodpeckers drilling holes in trees, brilliant blue-breasted kingfishers, wild geese and the drone of the bumblebee as it watched zillions of dragonflies and butterflies buzzing around busily.

I remember lying curled up on a sofa, with a plate of hot finger chips (NOT French fries) by my side- reading a Georgette Heyer romance or a Perry Mason detective novel, and listening to the croaking frogs playing games in the pouring rain. There was acceptance and understanding, discipline and dignity. There were values and honour- and chivalry used to be a part of the reality that went around. And then there was Family- the magical unit of the civilized world, that was warmth, comfort, dependence, security and love- all rolled into one. There was the radio, and later the idiot-box, which brought the family together through quiet evenings. There was the family-outing- to the market, a friend/relative’s home, a film show. There was a dining table, where grandparents, parents and children all gathered- and talked about their day and its happenings.

And then came the Technology Invasion. First it was the cordless phones, and later the mobile revolution- which revolutionized the revolution of evolution. It broke the umbilical cord that bound families tightly together. One by one, the mother, father, brother, sister, son, daughter, friend and foe- threw away all-of-the-above, and moved away into their own busy spaces. Then came more technology- taking the place of the rainbows, butterflies, sparrows- love, warmth, togetherness, belonging, sharing, and caring. And the human race began its race towards extinction. In its place, there were millions of busy, scurrying, hurrying assembly-line zombies- who recognized what technology showed them- neatly packaged empty spaces- babies that suddenly became young people, parents that suddenly became tormenters, teachers and schools that became the means-to-an-end, homes that became digital dens, and computers- that destroyed that last link to real communication.

Yes- I have seen it all. I admit- I love the small world that technology has shrunk into the palm of my hand. I love “knowing” strangers in the cyber world. I admire the ease with which the youngsters of the day flaunt their wares. The glamour, the colour, the brilliance and the shine is faultlessly perfect. But is any of it REAL? The diamond versus the artificial brilliance of the zircon.

But still- I miss the humans. I miss their values and traditions. I miss the cords of love that bound even strangers. I miss the lost childhood in today’s young people. I miss the maternal and paternal love and commitment. I miss the aunts and uncles, cousins and “best” friends who held so much meaning once. I miss Life- the real life. Not these empty, hollow vacuum blimps floating inside and outside all of us- that we call Life.

I miss the sounds of nature. I miss the softness and mellowness inside people. Suddenly the world has turned into tiny islands. Everyone is alone and lost inside their own. I suppose some of my generation finds it easy to slip into the shallow flow- but I don’t. I very definitely do not. And I flow along the shallow murky waves too- and hold on tightly to my belief in those faded, extinct, mythological creatures-  human beings  …..and their magic wand of love-  that may somehow bring the world back into existence once more.

Bas--aise hi....

Har sahil dariyon ke paar nahin hota,
Har mausam phoolon ka uphaar nahin hota.
Bujh jaatey hain diye aksar apni hi galtiyon se..
Har baar kasoor hawaaon ka nahin hota...

Dosh kisko dein inn imtihaanon ka aakhir?
Jab har jawab par, apne hi sawaalon ka ikhtiyaar nahin hota.

Invitation to connect on LinkedIn

From Seema Tyagi Owner at The Shivalik Public School Meerut Area, India I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn. - Seema Confirm that you know Seema You are receiving Invitation to Connect emails. Unsubscribe © 2012, LinkedIn Corporation. 2029 Stierlin Ct. Mountain View, CA 94043, USA

Awaaz dil se aayi hai--

Aawaaz dil se aayi hai, hawaaon main bikhar gayi hai phir,
Shor unn pannon ka hai jo jhonkon main machal jaatey hain.
Ik sawaal hai dil ki gehraaiyon main chupa,
Bas? Khushiyon aur tamanaaon ki itni hi umr thi aakhir?

Nazm chidti hai abhi bhi iss dil ke viraanon main,
Dabe-dabe se mere labz kahin kho jaatey hain..
Haath badhtey hain kuch anpayee tamannaaon ki taraf-
Chehre pe mere phir vahi rangat aa jaati hai umeedon ki.

Aakhir kya hai jo pakad main aata hi nahin..
Ye main hi hoon?- Ya koi parchaain hai meri?
Darr sa lagne laga hai ab waqt ki rusvaaiyon ka mujhe-
Apnon ka, ya unka jinhen dil ne apna maana tha kabhi,

Tujhse kuch aur hai jo maanga tha maine,ai zindagi,
Kuch aadha-adhoora sa , jo bas mujhe bhi mehsoos sa hai.
Kya umeed karoon main tujhse, tere numaayendon se bhala-
Jab aaina khud meri nazron se dhundla-dhundla sa nazar aata hai...

Rusva na hona iss raftaar se mujhse,
Abhi jazbaaton ki raakh main kuch jaan baaki hai.
Kuch geet hain, kuch taraaney hain dabey,
Poochti hoon main hawaaon se, kya ab bhi kuch madadgaar baaki hain?

Change?

Nothing that is can pause or stay;
The moon will wax, the moon will wane,
The mist and cloud will turn to rain,
The rain to mist and cloud again,
Tomorrow be today.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Question is- how does one make yesterday be today?? How does one find the physiological, psychological, anatomical and dillogical weapons to either MAKE that happen..or then at least adjust to change?

Sigh! Why is a simple 6-letter word so difficult??




They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.  ~Confucius


Thank you, Confusius. Did they so name you because you were confused??


Sigh!

When the seasons, of the mellow blow’ed ..by ANON :-)

Someone very precious to me wrote this...I had to put it here..

She said to him… by the sea shore…
I will hold your hand… Forever and more..
The rabbits sang and the gondolier rowed
When the seasons, of the mellow blow’ed.

They walked together… hand in hand…
Just then… she held him and…
The wolves sang and the crickets crowed…
When the seasons, of the mellow blow’ed.

She was scared that night... when the storm arose..
Lightning Bolts and the thunder roared..
He held her close… the night it snowed
When the seasons, of the mellow blow’ed.

They lay all night… counting stars..
Eating jellybeans… in colored jars..
But the moon shined and the stars glowed..
When the seasons, of the mellow blow’ed.

In her last breath… he heard her whine…
I’ll miss you love and I’ll be just fine…
Not a dog barked but the Lions roared...
When the seasons, of the mellow blow’ed.

I love the words..and the words hidden in the shadows of the words............

Ye hai Zindagi

The bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you refuse to take the turn.
I have to keep telling myself that. Again and again and again. Also- Life comes round a full circle. And as you sow, so shall you reap. What life gives you is what you have put into it. 


My day for quotations. And introspection. Its strange really. Half a century and more of my life- thinking, feeling, believing that I am the cat's whiskers. The pivotal figure in everybody's lives. And then suddenly, life takes a U-turn. And WHAM! Realization dawns! No I am not really!


I sometimes wonder what made me so confident about my omnipresence and omnipotency? My happy childhood? My comfortable and secure marriage? The wonderfully supporting and unconditionally loving family I have? My children? The ease with which people always liked me? My ability to make friends? Or all of the above?


Now- when I look at the world around me- I see that everybody has taken their own U-turns, chosen their own meandering paths, followed their own means to the end of their rainbows. And all of these paths have moved away from me! And I am left hanging on to my pedestal.


I see before me, two paths. One-which leads downhill. The other-to a distant bend on the road ahead. I know its time for me to choose the latter. And take that turn. I will not let the road end. 


 More quotations? - No point crying over spilt milk. One should always look before leaping. 


Jaan hai to jahaan hai:-)))


And most importantly- Live Life Kingsize!


Here's to always finding a loving hand when I fall. Or when I reach out.

The Kodak Moments

The years have sped by. I always knew they would, and hence had this habit of closing my eyes for a few seconds and consciously holding all poignant moments inside my memory-cells. And I am so glad I did that.
Today, as the world has moved to different dimensions, and all my running after it and trying to keep up with the race has exhausted me.. it is those precious memories that keep me from going bonkers!

Cut to the 1960's. Papa lying under a pear tree, snoozing in the warm sunshine on a cold winter's day, in the huge orchard my naana-naani had in Dehradun. Me- a little girl in a polka-dotted frock, prancing around chasing butterflies, happy in the warmth of her father's love, and the comfortable clinking of pots and pans in the far distance of the house, where my mom was cooking up a picnic feast for the two of us.

The 1970's. Here I am, in a shikara on the Dal lake in Srinagar- the moonlight reflecting the mountains in the calm waters, the fragrance of the flowers wafting songs inside my heart, as I manage to hoodwink my strict dad and have along with us, a young handsome officer (you- err..*identity witheld*) out for a moonlit boating jaunt..I close my eyes to still the excited hammering of my heart..and the moment is frozen yet again!

Here I am again- same time, same place- trudging up the mighty Zabarwan mountain, with the best friend I ever had (you, Sumedha Sahni) , and her brothers..my first attempt at being an intrepid mountaineer. The scent from the wild roses, my feet hooked into a rocky cranny to stop sliding off..the shared fag and unending conversation..yes- I can almost relive the moment even now!

21 December 1982. Screaming my guts out, torn apart with the searing, ripping, seething pain, almost breaking Rajiv's hand, holding on so hard, and the unexplainable feeling of hearing the thin cry of my first-born rent the air.. the tears flowing from her just-born father's eyes..lying on my side in a hospital bed and reaching for the toffees he had put under my pillow with so much love and consideration. The taste and sweetness lingers..and will stay with me forever.

Your first movie, Aanchal. 15 days old? Mom and I, and a huge baby-basket--the movie hall near Lohegaon, Pune..where your papa dropped us. Disco dancer! Sigh! Your fascination for Bappi da has its roots in this day:-)

A day in 1983. A little cherubic baby-girl, our first-born (You, Aanchal) left with the maid at our makeshift Air Force home in Pune, out to book out baggage with the railways all set for our first posting to Suratgarh in Rajasthan. Sitting on the pillion of our Yezdi bike all the way home for the last time in the town that gave me so  much- holding on tight to my friend, partner and husband (you, Rajiv), feeling the familiar breeze blowing through my hair for the last time (The truck to take away the bike was waiting at home)- I closed my eyes to hold the moment and freeze it in eternity- and here it is again! Whenever I close my eyes and reach for it.

Diwali Mela at Defence Colony. 1991? - Feeling the tiny warm hand in mine (your's, Saahil)- comfort asked, comfort given- with the inquisitive little face attempting to look over the knees of the crowds, flickering lights of excitement dancing in his eyes- the gambling stall- what was it? "Seven, Over-Seven or Under-Seven" played with two dice. Your first exposure to your mother's gambling soul- I can see the confusion in your eyes- as I taught you to place your whole wealth (Rs 10) on one of the slots.. and lose it at the casting of the dice in one fell swoop:-) I smile each time the memory flashes before my closed eyes:-) its a wonder how you held on to your trust in me!

The mandap where I suddenly saw my little girl become a bride, a wife, a woman.

The soft click of the lock on the grill door, as I took off for the midnight jaunt with my madcap son to the Nauchandi mela..To buy CHOORAN! Cos he felt like having some:-)

The songs playing on the car deck,. the wind in my eyes, the smoke spiralling in tune to my tapping feet, as Brat and I shared a fag driving through the dark nights... sharing dreams, sharing souls.

There are so many Kodak Moments stored inside my head. I shut out the painful and hurting ones. And let the happy ones stay afloat.

Today- as my eyes are dimming faster than my vision, my hair greying faster than my soul, my body aging faster than my mind- and Life flowing in directions I had never imagined- I reach for all the Kodak Moments I hold within me, hold on to all that is ME, and lapse into my own Wonderland. And am happy again:-)

Thank you for all my precious memories Vinnie Dev (mom), Rajiv Tyagi (husband and friend), Aanchal and Saahil.

Thank you Shalu- for enriching our world. Thank you all my friends- who will always live within me.

Love you all.

Life. And We-The People.

I haven't blogged in months. Strangely, what was once an outlet for churned up emotions, thoughts, aspirations, desires and dreams..now seems an empty canvas. Nothing seems to work me up into a fireball lately. And hence all words remain locked up inside the neurons in my head. 


Maybe its the doing-too-much-at-one-time syndrome. Maybe the aftermath of the syndrome. Whatever it is, I do not like it! If I am me, then why do I become a stranger just like that? 


Don't you all feel this way at times? Wondering why the pace of life ebbs and flows with total randomness and total disregard for your wants? Even the spirit of Christmas, which has always managed to provide that boot-in-the-rear momentum to life..seems to have packed its bags and retired:-( 


So what do you think life is? A whim of several billion cells to be you for a while? Then I hereby order all of you cells to reformulate your patterns and become ME, for Chrissakes!